Elevation vs. Compromise: The Tug-of-War in the Slumber
Flesh asks you to compromise. Spirit asks for elevation. The flesh's compromise and the Spirit's elevation cannot co-exist.
The first week in February, I went to a Women's fellowship retreat. It was a great weekend event that lifted my Spirit. I left excited, overflowing with ideas on how to grow my intimacy with God. The next week, I did a “Date with God.” My intention was simple: To get to know God in conversation the same way I would on a physical date. No rush, no performance, just presence. It was a beautiful night that brought revelation on how God wants me to see Him.
And then, just days later, something shifted. The urgency to reconnect softened. The hunger dulled. Instead of pressing in, I found myself watching an immense overload of Tubi movies. Movies that were definitely not edifying me. I could feel my Spirit nudging me to turn it off, to put on something that would feed my soul. But it was almost like I was stuck.
Movie after senseless movie.
The "Slick" Compromise
But here was the kicker. Because I felt the pull, I thought I would compromise. I’d say, "Oh, they lead the movie title with a Scripture," or "The girl is going to Church in the movie," or "The family mentions God and tries to pray." I was trying to trick my Spirit with fleshly compromise, but God is much slicker. Every single, and I mean every single movie would immediately shift into gruesome death, volatile language, or a sexual scene right after those subtle “Christian” cues. I saw the pattern, but I still tried to ignore it.
The breaking point was a movie that ended with a jealous boyfriend killing his girlfriend; right before he killed himself, he quoted a scripture. That scene struck my Spirit with the message God was trying to show me:
Many will use My name to disguise and make palpable evil things.
But My name and the darkness cannot co-exist.
WHEW! I couldn’t play naive anymore.
So I pivoted to my old faithful, YouTube. But everything I was drawn to was gossip. Talking about things I didn’t even care about, I would just let it play in the background. I didn’t want documentaries. I didn’t want anything educational or edifying. I was in a loop.
I was only spending five minutes in the morning praying—quietly, in my head, still in bed—and then I would hop on social media. One day it felt like I was having an out-of-body experience, watching myself move through the day detached from my spiritual relationship, while fully aware I needed to break this unfulfilling, outgrown stage of my walk.
The Bath, The Bottle, and The Break
I tried in little bits to get my habit back, reading the Bible or spending a little more time in prayer. But a slothfulness was starting to settle in: Not cleaning, not working out, laying on the couch if I wasn't working. I tried to resist it and thought, "Maybe I will start after a nice bath, with my candles and wine." I’ve made my bathroom a spa sanctuary and felt that rejuvenation was what I needed. I soaked in my warm bubble bath with my meditation music and candles and poured some wine. As I drank the wine, it didn't feel right. I’m thinking to myself, "This too, God? What's up? I can't relax?" I tried to ignore it and took another sip. After the second sip, I couldn't even sit comfortably in my own home spa. I put the bottle down, blew out the candle, got out of the tub soaking wet, and didn't even dry off. I went straight to my room and laid out on my bed in a prostrate position, arms stretched out, and I just started crying.
I cried because I could see and understand in real-time: God was calling me higher, closer, and more intimate. It was my own request from February, but that’s exactly when the distractions hit the hardest.
The Submission of the Flesh
Right after I cried it all out and repented, I felt the release I needed. I searched for a sermon about what happens when God is calling you higher, and I landed on one that explained exactly what I had been experiencing.
The video outlined how the flesh doesn't go quietly into submission when God is pulling you closer into intimacy. The flesh desires control, comfortability, and autonomy. The Spirit requires alignment, obedience, and discipline. This is why compromise cannot co-exist with Spiritual elevation. I was fooling myself, lying to myself, because my Spirit always knew it did not want to be saturated in that mental, emotional, and physical space. I was trying to balance what God was trying to reposition.
The Grace in Growth
I’ve had seasons of feeling incredibly close to God, receiving revelation beyond my comprehension. And then I’ve had seasons of spiritual slumber, where I can show up and do God’s work but slack on the relationship.
It reminds me of the prophet Elijah, how after a great victory in God’s name, fled in fear at Jezebel’s threat, forgetting how powerfully God had just shown up for him. Or like the prodigal son, eating with pigs when his father is a King who lives in abundance.
Growth is not linear.
There are seasons of intensity and seasons of comfort. This spiritual walk is forever. That’s why we cannot get discouraged when we slack off. But we also cannot intentionally live in cycles of disobedience, like the Israelites who continually strayed despite witnessing God’s faithfulness.
Let’s do our best to walk in a way that is pleasing to God and brings peace to our Spirit.
And remember, when you are going higher, the internal war will likely get louder.
Put on the whole armor of God.
Because flesh will always ask for compromise. But Spirit will always call you higher.