Protecting Black Women: Who Is Responsible For The Safe Space?
All women have faced injustice, sexism, or inequality because of gender. However, black women feel like there is no one for them to report to or to take their claims seriously. Images dominating media limit us to sexual objects, desired physically but rejected for a family setting. This mentality sounds familiar to how slave masters craved the warmth of the black woman's body and curves, found her attractive enough to abuse her body, then went back to their quarters where their family was. We were good enough only to serve sexual desires, take care of the children and remain hidden in plain sight.
"Protect Black Women" has become one of Social Media's most trending hashtags in light of events such as Meg Thee Stallion, Breonna Taylor, Brittney Griner, Ketanji Brown, and the countless missing black women & children that get a lack of media attention as opposed to their white counterparts. Journalist Gwen Ifill coined the term "White Woman Syndrome," which calls out society's desensitization to the faces of black female victims while white women tend to pull on the heartstrings of all communities. 5 minute read
The psychology that leads to the love-hate dichotomy of black women, even amongst ourselves, stems from generational habits that run so deep it is embedded in our subconscious. Self-hate has become so complicated and layered that to keep a check on it, we may overanalyze situations that appear colorist, sexist & racist, bringing any and every issue to the carpet. The catch 22 is that behavior can cause the importance of this matter to be diluted with mirages of concern as we try to correct so many wrongs. Many blame us saying it's too much too late energy. Advising that we allowed the disrespect so much, it is now woven into the culture, and we need to fall back. Malcolm X said, "The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman." In this speech, he was calling Black women to love themselves wholeheartedly and to strip the identity that the colonizer gave them that makes them feel less than.
As a Black woman, I can confidently say I feel unprotected in society. My pleas are less likely to shake the room, my tears are more likely to be ignored, and my voice is usually rejected and considered problematic if I don't come to the same conclusion as others. I'm often assumed to be less educated or qualified to be in a room that has a majority of white women in it. The genre of music I listen to has made it a point to make an overwhelming amount of content dedicated to degrading black women, black male podcasts are profiting with clickbait topics that shun the worth of black women, we are appropriated and then scorned for doing what others have become famous for when stealing our culture, and men seem more likely to speak up if one man disrespects another man than if they were to do it to a black woman.
I am by no means saying that there are no safe spaces for black women to thrive and be celebrated, but along with the celebration, we need protection. I'm not referring to family members or strangers doing good deeds, I'm referring to the consistent acknowledgment that our lives matter in the healthcare system, corporate structure, the arts, as well as in our very own community. Lil Nas X's sexual preference stirs up more conversation and response from men than hearing a woman discuss how she was drugged and taken advantage of by a musician.
According to the National Crime Information Center, one-third of the almost 300,000 U.S. girls and women reported missing in 2020 were Black. Black girls are more likely to be filed as a runaway with less investigation or follow-up than their white counterparts.
Currently, Brittney Griner is detained in Russia for allegedly having illegal drugs. According to CNN, Basketball legend Lisa Leslie told the "I am Athlete" Podcast that she was told not to make a "big fuss" over Brittney Griner's arrest by Russian Authorities. So that they could not use her as a pawn, so to speak, in this situation in the war." The government often uses this tactic in cases where journalists are taken hostage behind enemy lines, as James Harkin, an Investigative Journalist, discussed in a recent article. Even with that said, I still feel there should be some conversation regarding the matter. The government has its own agenda. A country that is wary of vaccines and does protests in droves in the streets is choosing to be mum. I can't help but wonder how much support would be garnered if it were Lebron James in this predicament.
During protests, black women are leading the charge. In our community, the black woman is the healer and nurturer. Due to components of generational curses in the black family, we are currently facing the juxtaposed position of being independent and, at times, the head of household (by definition) but still balancing submission to our counterparts. We are also expected to understand and respect everyone else's feelings over our own. Women, in general, are strong, powerful, miraculous beings that literally create life. No matter the race, that needs to be respected. We have always stood in the trenches, from Angela Davis to Angela Rye and we are chipping away at the cement wall that is stifling our cries from being heard on the other side.
I understand we always get those comments referencing that a lot of women don't respect themselves, so why should we respect them. I'm not here for that game. At this stage, we are very clear on the dynamics and the overarching message here. Some people may have looked at U.S. Senator Cory Booker as doing too much or putting on a show in his speech to U.S. Supreme Court Nominee Ketanji Brown, but imagine if that was the standard call to action in media. Demanding that respect is given when a black woman feels she isn't in a space to speak for herself. Women have no problem being the mouthpiece for others but, at times, are silenced in personal struggles.
Last night at the Oscars, the world witnessed Will Smith slap Chris Rock for telling a joke. We later learned it was less about the joke but that a medical condition behind it made the joke sting. At first, Will Smith laughed, but then you saw the evident discomfort in Jada Pinkett's face. There were many arguments for both sides and many for the middle, but then someone brought race into the equation, "Chris Rock wouldn't have done that if it was Meryl Streep! Protect Black Women." Personally, I can't make that call as Chris Rock is known for being an equal opportunist comedian, however, he failed to read the room. This is the same establishment that Black actors called to boycott due to lack of representation. Therefore, we don't embarrass each other "in front of company" at any cost! Issa Rae's infamous soundbite comes to mind, "I'm rooting for everybody Black." Sometimes we have to understand our position in society, and regardless of the accepted occupation or behavior, we have to protect each other because we are setting the stage for what others deem fair game or take cues on how to treat us based on that. And for me, this is one of those specific situations, create a united front in rooms we already feel unwanted in.
We are responsible for our community. It is 2022, and we know the scale doesn't tip in our favor so let us focus on what we can control. That motto people use in life can be applicable here as well. What if more celebrities did like Lewis Hamilton and bought a table at the Met Gala to invest in emerging black businesses, assuring exposure to the people and conversations in those rooms. What if rich black men and women pooled their money to invest in community real estate instead of buying another property they don't need. I'm not here to tell rich people what to do with their money, but understand that the generational wealth you speak of would provide so much more security if we thought about it on a collective and not individual scale. If we don't accept the fact that we have to save ourselves, we will drown looking for help from the very system that built judicial levees as poorly constructed as those in New Orleans 9th Ward.
Photo from Stock Photo
Poem From Book “Spirit Of A Woman” By J.L. Diamond
Black Box
There are a lot of stigmas when it comes to the Black woman
They’ve carved out a space to try to keep us in our place
Everything we do is a problem
But duplicated and accepted with another race
I’m tired of people taking the word “Independent” as us saying we don’t need a man
How narcissistic of this patriarchic world to not see it involves a bigger plan
Independence means we have the freedom to do what we want
We can now work in the office side by side with you
Doesn’t mean we no longer want a man to court
We can now have our own money, bank accounts and not be confined to an allowance
We can vote and not just hope husband picks the right ballot
We have options, that’s what independence means
In typical man’s world fashion, make it appear that it was meant to emasculate them
Karyn White told you we ain’t that type of superwoman
Although it’s taught that’s how to gain love
Pour into everyone around you
And neglect your own worth
Now it may not be on purpose
But it’s unhealthy and archaic just the same
I’m constantly evolving but you don’t want to see the change
We are appropriated then labeled as society sees fit
Considered problematic or rebel when we challenge it
Well I’m a spiritual woman that listens to rap
Dress in sweats and timbs to outfits they call “man traps”
Walk into a corporate office and still speak in my street lingo
Have them adapt to me, unchained like Django
And why is it that I must always make the room feel comfortable
Why don’t they adjust to my resting bitch face, sense of humor, and afro
The only box I acknowledge is the Black Box
Because my inner workings can never be destroyed
As much you may try to silence me
Your efforts are null and void
Everything can crash and burn
I’ll come out stronger and poised
Can’t accept my prominence
So you assert your dominance
But I’m the nucleus of it all
Mother Africa = Mother Me
Mankind came from the fruit of my loins
